brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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