Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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