There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
