Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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