like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
