I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
