Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
