I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
