What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
