did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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