We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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