There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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