hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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