so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
