Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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