xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
