we're chasing vodka with high fives
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
