saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
