so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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