Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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