You're my little dorito
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
