yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
