I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Pappa wants mamma naked
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
whose ass print is on the piano?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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