my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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