Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
