next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
