Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
