So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
it was like eating out sand paper
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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