Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
NoShamevember. You game?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
