I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
