highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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