So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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