just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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