i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
