It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
