Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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