Don't you send me to vm
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
