So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
