Dual....:-)
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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