every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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