All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
