UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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