How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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