no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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