I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need moral support for this bender
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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