so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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