Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
