She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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