Only a mothe r could love this liver
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
