I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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