My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm too high and old for this...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
