If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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