I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
