I didn't shave. On purpose
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
