Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
